Carbonara and Shanghai Chapter 3: Yakap

Chapter 3: Yakap

I couldn’t say what I had to say, I didn’t have the courage to tell her that I really liked her; I had mixed emotions that night. I thought about the consequences if I told her.

It was very hard, I don’t if she would like me back, or if she would lay me off. The bottom line was at least I told her, it was now or never. But still I thought about my girlfriend, and I said to myself “paul, what’s happening? Make up your mind!”

Melai: “ano ‘yong sasabihin mo?”

Me: “Ahh..Ehh..wala, mamaya ko na lang sabihin..hehe..nagenjoy  ka ba?”

Melai: “oo naman, sayang naman di mo naenjoy, kaw nagplano, kaw pa ung wala..hehehe”

Me: “kainis nga eh, busy lang kasi, hustle pa para sa event bukas..haha”

We arrived at Laarni’s boarding house after our conversation; of course I am a gentleman, so I helped her with her things.

When we went inside, she sat at the side of Laarni’s bed, I sat beside, and glanced at her eyes, and so was her irresistible smile. What was running to my mind was “damn, I love her smile”. I just couldn’t take my eyes off her.

Soon enough, we all laid in bed, and like before I had to do something so me and melai would sleep beside each other.

Me: “Bea, pwede bang tumabi sayo? Hehe..hindi naman kita kakagatin eh..hahaha”

Melai: “hahaha..Sure John Lloyd”

At this point, this was the moment I’ve been waiting for, the perfect moment for me to confess my infatuation towards her.

Me: “ Melai, may sasabihin ako sayo, pero sana wag ka magagalit, or sana wag mo ko layuan?”

Melai: “ Huh? Bkit anu ba kasi ‘yong sasabihin mo?

My heart was pounding at the moment, it was like it was about to explode, I breathed heavily and said..

Me: “uhm, melai, lam mo, gusto kita..i like you..di ko lam..i just like you..”

Melai: “Pero bakit? Lam mo namang may girlfriend ka tapos gusto mo ko?”

Me: “yun nga eh..i just couldn’t help it, I really had to say na gusto kita..”

I sobbed while telling her..

Me: “for several months na magkausap at magkatext tayo, sa totoo lang napakacomfortable ko pag ikaw kausap ko, kung tutuusin, naeexcite ako kapag ikaw ang katext ko kaysa kay daisy..sa totoo lang parang naffall out of love na ko kay daisy..taz sa tuwing kinukwento mo sakin ‘yong  tungkol sa manliligaw mo, di ko lam kung bakit, pero nasasaktan ako, nagseselos..actually bago ko pa sabihin na gusto kita..sinabi ko na kina Ralph.”

She smiled and replied “sabi mo lang yun, magiging ok din kayo..”

I was hurt when she said that, but I stood my ground and said..

Me: “ it just hurts to know that I can’t have the girl that I’ve been longing for my entire life..i really like you melai..i just had to say this, I don’t know why, but it feels right..kung wala lang talaga akong girlfriend, papaya ka bang manligaw ako?”

Melai: “di ko alam eh..hmm may girlfriend ka kasi eh”

Me: “I know, im sorry kung nashock ka man sa nasabi ko, pero totoo tong sinasabi ko sayo, I hope kung ano man ang meron satin nuon, sana di parin mawala..”

Melai: “oo naman, we could be friends..”

Me: “thanks bea..uhm, pede ba kitang yakapin?”

Melai: “sige lang..hehe..”

She then took a pillow and hugged it, so I wouldn’t hug her on her tummy, but instead I held her arms while she was hugging the pillow.

Now, if you were wondering, what about my girlfriend? Well, that week was a pretty shitty week (sorry for the language, it only describes what kind of week I’ve gone through that time). We haven’t talked for at least 4-5 days, she says she doesn’t have load, and I understood that. Then I told her if I could visit her, she refused. And before  told melai I liked her, my relationship with my girlfriend was on the rocks, it became boring, she kept on breaking up with me, with shallow reasons, and if not, just for no reason she breaks up with me. I couldn’t even count on how many times my girlfriend broke up with me. So I told myself, this is the last straw, if she breaks up with me, I’m done with daisy. My patience has run out, and I’m unhappy.

So anyway, back to me and melai, when we woke up, I was glad when she woke up facing me. I smiled and greeted her “Good Morning bea”. She smiled back..

Me: “did you have a good sleep? =)”

Melai: “yes I did..”

Me: “yung sinabi ko sayo kagabi totoo yun ah?”

Melai: “opo..=)”

(to be continued..)